


Stay With Me

by AussyAngel



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: A bit of Damerey, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Car Accident, Character Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, FinnRose included, Hurt/Comfort, If I Stay AU, Slow Burn, but only for the Reylo angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-07
Updated: 2020-02-07
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:47:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22595005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AussyAngel/pseuds/AussyAngel
Summary: “Please, Rey,” Ben pleaded, his voice barely a whisper as he grasped her hand. “Hold on. Stay here. With me.”When Rey is in a severe car accident leaving her in a coma and fighting for her life, she has to make a heartbreaking decision - to follow her loved ones, or live in a world without them. Based on the book/film ‘If I Stay’.
Relationships: Finn/Rose Tico, Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 10
Kudos: 34





	Stay With Me

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally an unfinished klaroline fic that I wrote three chapters for before abandoning on ff.net, but I did write out the full plot which I will utilize here with many changes to fit the world of Star Wars. You will notice a few klaroline quotes throughout the story as a result - I hope you enjoy the little easter eggs throughout the story if you ship them. Anyway, if you enjoy, drop a comment - feedback is welcomed! Let the angst begin.

_Who will bring me flowers when it’s over_

_And who will give me comfort when it’s cold?_

“Come on, Rey, _please_ show me again! Just one more time!” Jessika begged, causing Poe to roll his eyes for the tenth time that evening.

Rey laughed at her friend, turning a slight pink as she stuck her hand out again over the table and splayed out her fingers. In the last few weeks, it had become a regular routine to around every woman she saw, shamefully so. When she paid for something at the grocery store and the clerk caught a sight of her dazzling ring, or a colleague in the office building caught wind of her engagement. Jessika excitedly clasped her hand and studied the diamond closely, her gaze like that of a child’s caught by a shiny object. “It’s so beautiful,” she murmured, winking and wagging her brows. “And so _big-”_

“I’m certainly lucky,” Rey laughed nervously, feeling a blush crawl up her ears. She tucked her hair behind her ear, pulling her hand out of Jess’ grasp. The stone caught in the candlelight, little sparkles dancing across the tablecloth. Feeling his gaze on her, Rey turned her head to Poe, who was watching her closely, as if judging her reaction. She smiled reassuringly at him and he took her hand, rubbing the inside of her palm with his thumb, her ring burning on her finger.

“Tell me everything again, every single detail! Right from the start!” Jess exclaimed excitedly, clapping her hands together. Finn braced his arm on the back of her chair, eyes closing as he took a long gulp of his wine.

“I’m pretty sure _I_ can recite every word now, since I think I’ve heard the story at least five times tonight,” Finn half-joked, shaking his head. He met eyes with Rey and she winced.

She composed herself, looking at the bouquet of lilies that Jess had gifted her upon hearing of her engagement, lying flat on the restaurant table. She touched one of the creamy petals, smoothing it between her fingertips. Every time she relayed the story - the proposal - it hit her that she was actually getting _married_. She kept forgetting that this was her life, the path she had chosen for herself. She was getting married to Poe, and even though she had the right on her finger binding her to her choice, she still pinched herself to see if it was real. Still, she smiled at Jess, knowing how much of a romantic her friend was.

“Well, we were out for dinner with Poe’s parents, and the _entire_ night, he was all fidgety and moody - I honestly had no idea why. I just figured it was work or maybe he was annoyed with his parents.” Rey started, picking absentmindedly at the flower as she spoke. 

“Now, I wasn’t ‘moody’, in my defence.” Poe grimaced, taking a long sip of his red wine. 

“Anyway,” Rey continued, ignoring his interruption. She was used to him interrupting her. “We parted ways with his parents after the most horrifically awkward dinner you could imagine. On the way home, Poe was silent. He wasn’t saying a word. I thought that maybe he had a fight with his parents, maybe he was ill from dinner - he was awfully pale.”

Jess clasped her fingers together as if it was the most intriguing tale, as if she hadn’t heard the story many times already that night. “Did you expect it?” She squealed, causing Finn to flinch next to her.

“Not at all,” Rey said honestly, the lily petal wilting under her fingers. Nervous habit. “I asked him what was wrong, if he was okay because he didn’t look well. He said the check engine light was on, and he needed to pull over and check it. Since I’m good with that sort of thing, I got out-”

“Don’t skip the part where you were being difficult and didn’t want to get out of the car.” Poe interjected.

“I wasn’t the one being difficult! I was just shouting what you had to do from the comfort of the car!” Rey said defensively, not wanting to argue with him. They did enough of that before they got to the restaurant. She continued before he could get another interruption in. “So, I braved the night and got out of the car, where I saw Poe down on one knee, a ring box in his hand.”

Finishing her well-rehearsed story, Rey took a big gulp of wine and couldn’t help but smile at her friend across the table, who had her hand over her heart. She looked like she was going to explode with emotion. “So spontaneous.”

“Yeah, I didn’t know you had it in you, Dameron.” Finn teased, Poe kicking him under the table.

“Anyone up for more wine?” Poe said briskly, clearly ready for a change in topic, as if the whole dinner after work wasn’t a celebration organised by Jess _for_ their engagement. He summoned the nearby waiter to his side, grabbing the wine menu and already placing his finger upon a chosen vintage.

“It’s a work night though, I really shouldn’t.” Rey said, her singular glass already going to her head. If she had anymore, she feared she wouldn’t be able to hold her tongue, and she wasn’t ready for what her drunk self felt or wanted to admit. She didn’t think anybody was.

“Oh, come on, Rey!” Jess squawked with indignation. “This is a celebration! Just one more glass, it won’t hurt.”

The waiter had already collected the bottle Poe had ordered by this point, and it was already being uncorked and poured into her waiting glass. Poe was already halfway through his new glass. Rey stared at the rim as the red liquid swirled around the glass, noticing Finn watching her intently. She had known him long enough to know what this expression meant: _you okay?_ She smiled at him, squeezing his hand across the table reassuringly as if to say, _I’m okay._

“A toast,” Jess announced, raising her glass and pulling Rey back to the current moment. “To Poe and Rey, and to a bright future together with many happy years to come.”

They drained the rest of the wine bottle.

\---

Poe went to pay for the entire bill, despite Rey’s persistence that she pay her part. He muttered something about his parents, fumbling with his wallet as she argued and he mumbled, “it’s fine, it’s fine.” Poe was from a good family - his mother a lawyer, his father a retired politician. Still, Rey had looked after herself her entire life, and she didn’t want him thinking she couldn’t pay for herself. She’s gotten this far on her own just fine. 

With somewhat perfect timing, Jess approached the counter, seemingly taking over the argument for Rey and insisting she pay half since it was her shout, her gift to them for their engagement. Tired and tipsy, Rey took the opportunity to go outside, stumbling towards the parked car. She needed some fresh air anyway, and desperately needed to clear her head. Rey wondered if she was doing the right thing, marrying Poe. It wasn’t something she dared to admit to anyone, let alone herself - he was kind, safe, secure, came from a good family, had a good job. He was good for her, just what she needed. But something felt… off. Things had changed in her life, _something_ had changed. It didn’t seem enough for her anymore. She cursed herself for her selfish thought, kicking the kerb with her shoe.

Poe had opportunities that he was destined to follow. Even so, he changed the course of his career in their company for her. “ _His dream was no longer there, and she was his dream”,_ or something like that, a corny line that she swore he found in a romance book sitting abandoned in a cafe, as he definitely would not have come up with himself. But he was smooth, and he made her feel loved. Growing up, it was all she wanted. Or so she thought she did. Now, she felt as though something was... missing.

She shook her head. There was no reason to feel this way. She was happy. She was marrying a good man, moving to a new city, getting a new job, her friends supporting her. She was _happy._

“Oh, I know that look.” Rey looked up from the pavement to see Finn next to her. “Staring contest with the concrete, your face doing that scrunchy thing. You okay, peanut?”

At the nickname, Rey felt her walls weaken a little, but she wasn’t about to cave. They started walking slowly through the parking lot to Poe’s car. “Just thinking. Lots to plan, you know? Wedding venues, moving house, new job…” She trailed off, as if it was the first time she was actually thinking about these plans. She changed the subject. “How is Rose?”

“I just called her,” he said. “She’s okay. It’s always difficult around Paige’s birthday, you know. But you know Rose - she’s strong.”

Rey nodded, her heart twisting not only for her close friend, but hearing how tenderly Finn spoke of his wife. She wondered momentarily if Poe had ever talked about her like that.

Finn stopped walking next to her, clearly catching onto her mood. He touched her arm and lowered his voice, as though he was making sure only she could hear him. “You know, Rey, if you aren’t happy… You can tell me. You can tell me anything. You know that.” 

Rey’s stomach lurched, and the tears that had threatened to fall earlier slipped out of one eye. She blinked them away, gripping the lily bouquet in her hands. “I know, Finn. I’m fine. You know I’d tell you anything.” She forced a smile, unsure whether she was trying to convince Finn or herself.

“Okay.” He said simply, cueing the end of the subject. He squeezed her arm gently, and Rey realized just how grateful she was to have Finn for her best friend. They reached the car and Finn opened the front passengers’ door for her, and she hopped in. Her best friend, always the gentleman. _What would I do without him?_ She thought.

“After _much_ arguing on my behalf, I finally got to pay half the bill,” Jess announced proudly as she got into the back seat next to Finn. “I couldn’t let Poe pay the whole thing.”

“You managed to compromise with the stubborn lead writer of _The Resistance_ , you honestly should put it on your resume.” Finn laughed.

Poe missed the joke, however, dropping his keys in his lap in the driver's seat. He fumbled with his seat belt, twisting it around and in on itself, causing Rey to frown unnervingly. “Hey, are you sure you’re okay to drive? You’ve had a bit to drink.”

“I’m fine, Rey,” he mumbled, stabbing the key into the ignition.

“Are you sure? I mean, I’ve only had two glasses, I can drive if you like-”

“I said I’m fine!” He snapped, silencing her. All the joy that filled the car seemed to evaporate, tension riding off the front seats in waves. 

Rey felt a lump rise in her throat and stared straight ahead. She couldn’t look at him, didn’t even want to speak to him, fearing she might say something back that she would regret. He always made her feel like this, made her feel small when all she was trying to do was help. Her engagement ring burned hot on her finger, the scent of the lilies on her lap invading her nostrils, overwhelming her.

“Okay,” Finn whistled awkwardly in the back seat, clearly trying to ease the tension. “Dameron is fine, we’ve all had a good night. So let's get going, escape this bad weather.”

Poe revved the engine and the SUV pulled out of the parking spot as a rumble of thunder echoed overhead. Rain pelted the windscreen, the wipers moving in quick succession as lightning flashed and illuminated the road. Rey chewed her lip nervously - growing up in Nevada, she always liked the sight of rain, but she never liked storms.

“How about we listen to the radio?” Jess perked up and Rey was suddenly grateful for her joyous personality and ability to bring light to any situation.

“Good idea,” Rey managed to choke out, her throat dry. 

Jess reached over between the front seats and switched on the radio. She tuned through static, a news announcement warning of the storm. Finally music started playing, Billie Eilish blaring through the speakers. Jess instantly perked up. “Oh, I love this song!”

The popping tune of _Bad Guy_ offered a stark contrast to the violent slashing of the wipers as they cleared the heavy rain off the windscreen, the road ahead barely visible through the fog. The girls hummed along and Finn pumped the air for only a short moment before Poe reached over and smacked the tuner to the next station. “Hey, we were listening to that!”

“I can tolerate a lot,” Poe argued. “But there is only so much Billie Eilish I can take before I put my foot down.”

“It was barely playing for a minute!” Rey protested.

“Yeah, a minute too long.”

“Old man,” Jess muttered, earning a laugh from Finn.

“Careful, he’s your boss, you know.” He joked light-heartedly.

“Not in my department!” Jess said in a sing-song voice, poking her tongue out at Finn.

Rey reached over to the radio this time. “There’s bound to be a song we all agree on,” she tuned the radio as Jess huffed in the backseat. 

They flicked through a few stations, going through static and dramatic adverts until a soft acoustic guitar melody danced through the speakers. Rey’s ears pricked up at the familiar tune immediately, a tune she had heard a thousand times already. Her stomach twisted and her heart lurched as the first lyrics echoed through the car. 

“Oh, Lewis Capaldi! I love this guy. Leave this one on.” Jess announced, reaching over and turning up the volume so it overtook the pelting of the raindrops on the car.

_I fell by the wayside, like everyone else_

_I hate you, I hate you, I hate you - but I was just kidding myself._

Rey did not want to listen to this song. It wasn’t that she hated it - the very opposite, in fact. But she had gone all day, all evening, enjoying a dinner out with her boyfriend - sorry, _fiancé_ \- and friends, avoiding any thought of _him._ She had done well. She hadn’t thought of his dark hair, his lonely eyes, his broad shoulders and calloused hands. She was moving on, and of course, fate had other ideas. Images and conversations pushed at the edge of her memory, ones she had locked in a box and thrown away the key to. But the further into the lyrics the song played, the more guitar strings echoed, the more the sound pulled on her heart and filled her mind with visions of _him._

_Our every moment, I start to replace_

_'Cause now that they're gone, all I hear are the words that I needed to say._

Her memory became enveloped in images of that night in the dark. Illuminated by the headlights, soft raindrops dancing around them like a choir. His body close to hers, his warm hand grasping her, the scent of his aftershave overwhelming her senses. She had no worries at that moment, no fear of what was next. Just her and him...

_When you hurt under the surface_

_Like troubled water running cold_

_Well, time can heal, but this won't._

Rey realized she was holding her breath, releasing it shakily. She sighed, disappointed in herself, wishing she hadn’t allowed these memories to come back to her. The song enveloped her, taking her back to a moment she had buried so far within, a person she had allowed herself to forget. Rey could hear Jess humming absentmindedly in the back seat, and she could see Finn’s face in the side mirror illuminated by the light of his phone, smiling. She felt a pang in her chest at the sight, knowing he was messaging Rose. The relationship her two friends shared was one she could only dream of. The thought made her risk a glance at Poe in the front seat, jaw more relaxed, mouth moving slightly to the song. She forced this image of him onto her memory, searing over the one she tried so hard to forget.

_Was never the right time, whenever you called_

_Went little by little by little until there was nothing at all._

But she couldn’t get his dark eyes out of her mind. The lyrics swirled around in her head, reminding her in pieces of every word, every touch, every vision she’d ever had of him. She recalled his offers, his promises, his potential, all echoing with the beat of the song. It was as though hearing the tune had opened a floodgate in her memory, and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t close it.

She just couldn’t shake him.

Rey settled her head back, looking out the window that was streaked with rain. She closed her eyes.

_Was there something I could've said to make it all stop hurting?_

_It kills me how your mind can make you feel so worthless,_

_So, before you go._

\---

The song was over. It was quickly cut short - the sound of twisting metal and shattering glass replacing the nostalgic melody that Rey was reminiscing. The radio was no longer playing - they couldn’t argue about what song played next, couldn’t listen to weather updates, couldn’t tune the radio through endless amounts of static. Perhaps if they could hear the radio, had listened to the news, they would have pulled over to the side of the road, out of the rain and dangerous conditions. Instead, Rey’s mind was blank. There was no sound in her ears, no breeze on her skin, no flower petals between her fingers, no vision of the rain pelting the windscreen in her sight. Her entire world was engulfed in darkness.

Rey vaguely remembered the blinding light that shone through her closed eyelids, opening them slightly just in time to see headlights slam into the drivers’ side of Poe’s black SUV. The mess on the wet road didn’t even look like there was a car involved, shards of metal strewn down the road, the car in pieces. The front of the truck was smashed in, the engine pulled apart and splitting at the sides, but it was nothing compared to the SUV it had t-boned at a quiet intersection where the driver was too preoccupied with his phone to realize he was running a red light.

As the SUV was hit, the drivers’ side at the back door was instantly packed in, flipping the vehicle once, twice, three times. It unravelled to pieces, throwing out bodies as it rolled. There were tyres rolling up the road, glass glimmering as pieces skimmed along the pavement, shattering into millions of tiny pieces. The engine caught alight, casting a red glow over the chaos, illuminating the destruction. The blaze was fuelled by the leaking petrol, threatening to expand if it weren’t for the pattering rain that fell so much softer than it did only moments before. It was as though the raindrops had slowed down their descent to witness the devastation as it unfolded before sizzling upon the scorched asphalt. The doors were thrown off - two flattened and torn to pieces whilst the others had flown into the forest on the side of the road. The leather seats had torn and pieces of rubber made a path from the truck to the car. White lilies floated in pieces around the devastation, a stark contrast to the red of the flames, the black of the pavement. 

Rey was unsure as to how long she had been lying there for. She wasn’t sure how long it was until another car arrived at the intersection, seeing the wreckage and immediately dialling for emergency services on their phone. She couldn’t lift her head, couldn’t open her eyes, not just yet. She wasn’t sure how long it was until the sirens came, flooding the area with police, ambulance, fire brigades and paramedics, red and blue lights flashing relentlessly.

Rey’s eyes fluttered open, her vision welcomed with the view of the now starry night sky. Few rainclouds remained, her face dampened with the remaining sprinkling rain. Her ears rung out, smoke floating gently into the sky. It was almost peaceful, if she kept looking up.

She clenched each muscle in her body - her shoulders, her fingers, her stomach, right down to each of her toes. She felt… okay. She craned her neck, preparing to sit up, attempting to stand. Slowly, she brought herself to her feet, gazing down at herself through blurred vision. She couldn’t see any damage, no blood or cuts or scratches. _Lucky._ She grasped her head, her temples pounding, but she gritted her teeth. She patted down her blue dress and looked around, trying to remember where she was and why she was there, struggling to focus on the view that stood before her.

It came back to her all at once, the memory of the accident; the truck slamming into them at the intersection as they drove through - what was it? Wasn’t it a green light? She couldn’t remember. She frowned, pain once again prickling at her temples. She knew Poe had had a few drinks, but surely he didn’t run a red light. Rey tried to focus - attempting to swap her mindset. At least she was okay, no external injuries as far as she could tell. She scanned the vicinity, taking in the wreckage and small blaze. She had to find them; she had to find her friends.

She tentatively took a step forward, unable to feel the glass and damp pavement beneath her now bare feet. She squinted around, a disarray of blue, red and white lights bouncing off the slick road and stinging her eyes.

The first person she saw was Jess. Rey could tell by the sight of her brown hair fanned around her face. She was mere feet from the car, and as Rey moved closer, she saw her face, drained of colour, lips blue, blood oozing from her mouth and temple. Rey’s wine and gnocchi at dinner threatened to come up as a bout of nausea overtook her, covering her mouth as a cry escaped her. Jess’ eyes were frozen open and staring into the sky - the pose made her seem almost angelic if it weren’t for the blood, like she had already floated to heaven in her little white dress. The dress was torn, her limbs and neck bent at unnatural angles. The accident flashed back to Rey’s memory, remembering that the truck had hit the driver’s side: impacting right where Jess was sitting, humming to the radio.

 _The driver's seat. Poe._ Where was he? She turned away from the sight of her friend lying motionless on the ground, her breathing getting fast. _This can’t be happening._ People were in a flurry around her now, paramedics surrounding the area and police stopping traffic with a barricade of vehicles and yellow tape, directing them elsewhere. “Please,” She tried to get the attention of a paramedic who was coming towards her, but they didn’t even look her way. Perhaps because she was standing and okay, they were preoccupied with helping Finn and Poe. Desperate to find them, her mind fogging, she called more paramedics who came toward her. “Please, I need to…” She trailed off as they walked straight past her again, not even acknowledging her. 

She turned around as they hurried past her, following their lead. They were crouched in a circle, and Rey quickly rushed over, desperate to see who it was. Poe, Finn? Were they alive? She peaked through them, catching the sight of dark hair and tanned skin. _Poe._ A stretcher was brought over, and if it wasn’t for his dark hair, she wouldn’t have recognised him. He was covered in blood, his black dress shirt ripped open, one sleeve torn cleanly off. His face was already bruised, one eye swollen and sticky with blood. His shoulder was contorted near his ear at a painful angle, his arm crushed from the impact. 

She felt her heart clench at the sight of him being lifted onto the stretch, a neck brace supporting him. He was barely alive, but at least he was alive - she couldn’t let herself think otherwise. _Finn_ \- she needed to find him. She needed to find her best friend. “Where’s Finn?” She called out to the people around her, but no one even glanced her way. Why weren’t they listening to her? They looked through her as if she was nothing but dust, more focused on her other passengers. 

Rey took a breath, steadying herself, and surveyed the scene, the lights of the emergency vehicles her only guidance. The paramedics were all rushing towards another spot in particular, pushing past her and towards the forest, off the edge of the road. She quickly followed after them, knowing they would be tending to Finn. She had to see the extent of his injuries, see if he was okay. As she came closer, following a trail of lily petals, her eyes adjusting, she realized they were gathering around a smaller body. Too small, she realized, to be Finn’s. Hesitantly, she crept closer as the paramedics parted to make way for a stretcher. Illuminated by the flashing lights, she recognised who it was. It wasn’t Finn.

Their brown, shoulder-length hair was matted with blood and dirt from the impact of the crash, thrown like a ragdoll into the forest. Their eyes were closed, freckled skin sallow as red bled from their hairline. Red, so much red. Their blue dress was covered in dirt, red liquid seeping through the fabric across their abdomen. Rey felt her breath hitch in her throat as her fists clenched her own dress. She looked down at her own blue dress: the same, but unscathed.

It was her.

Rey’s mouth gaped open as she watched her body get fitted with a neck brace. Her leg was askew in an awkward position, blue bruises already marking her freckled skin. Her ankle was bent, one of her feet missing a heel. This couldn’t be happening, this couldn’t be real. She was standing right there. It wasn’t possible.

“No, no, no, no,” she chanted, turning away from the sight of her bloodied body, being poked and tugged and prodded at by strangers. She watched the fire brigade pour sand over the asphalt. “This can’t be real.” She whispered.

 _Wake up, Rey,_ she told herself. This had to be a dream.

Was she dead? Was she just a ghost, watching her body? If she was, they wouldn’t be loading her onto a stretcher. With a breath, Rey glanced over at where Jess’ body lay, now covered with a sheet. A violent wave of nausea hit her again. If she was dead, really dead, she would look like… Jess. She wouldn’t be watching her own body be loaded onto a stretcher. Poe wasn’t in sight. She still didn’t know if Finn was alive.

“Wake up,” she commanded herself, clenching her fists into her hair. “This isn’t real. _Wake up._ ”

She pinched her skin once, twice. She pinched harder. She must have fallen asleep in the car on the way home. She looked up. The wreckage still remained in front of her.

“On three - one, two…”

Rey whipped around to her body, where she was being hoisted onto the stretcher and towards a waiting ambulance. A crowd of people had now gathered at the police tape - she wanted to yell at them, scream at them to move and not stare at the body under the plastic sheet. Jess wasn’t someone to be gawked at; she deserved better than that. She felt ill.

Rey ran after her body towards the ambulance. Wherever Finn and Poe were, they would be going to the same place as her, she was sure of it. Jumping into the back of the ambulance, she stuck close to her unconscious form, worried she would fade away if she wandered too far. 

The doors of the ambulance slammed shut, and the vehicle came to life. They started moving, sirens blaring and throbbing Rey’s ears. She placed her face on the glass, watching the scene become smaller and smaller. She watched the place where Poe’s SUV lay in pieces, where her friend’s body lay, never to see light again. The same friend who brought her flowers, who wished her nothing but happiness, who was only in the car because she wanted to celebrate with her colleagues - those flowers now discarded among a scene of death and destruction. 

Rey started at the wreckage until the flashing lights of the sirens and flames of the crash were no longer visible to her eyes, her vision blurring with tears.

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi! I'm on [Tumblr](Http://AussyAngel.tumblr.com), Twitter, and YouTube.
> 
> Song at the beginning is Flowers for a Ghost by Thriving Ivory, and the song in the car is Before You Go by Lewis Capaldi.


End file.
